the past month i have been going to the dialysis center flushing out my catheter. Today we let some of the fluids sit for 20 minutes. My first mini-dialysis. I do feel better today, but have no idea if that is from the mini dialysis or some other changes that happened. We will know shortly when i start getting on a regular program with dialysis.
Tomorrow my supplies will be delivered. I have my spare bedroom/office cleared so the boxes of solution and supplies will fit. It is a bit like a dream, a dream that isn't happening that I'm going on dialysis. I need to do this to stay alive. The amount of trash i will generate goes against all my environmental training as a park ranger. It is overwhelming. Just like my training the last month. So much information. Is this really happening? I just go through the motions and keep thinking my life is going to come back any day. But maybe going on dialysis I will get some of my life back. I want to stabolize for awhile. The past 3 years I have slowly and progressively slipped down, little by little. Adjusting, then get use to how I should live, and my disease gets worse. I slip, and have to learn new management again. So I hope dialysis will keep me stable enough that life will be the same for awhile.
The past weekend i was very exhausted. i found out later that my hemoglobin and related Red Blood Cells has gone down. This means I will need to start injections of Procrit to generate red blood cell formations. I know I accidentally skipped some iron pills because you can't take them with certain foods. And I forgot to take them after two hours since I had the foods. Again, this is all so surreal and I'm becoming more and more nervous that I really am a sick person. I tried so hard to fight this and kept going. This mind game! The ante is always upped and I need to fight more and manage more. How do these folks on dialysis do it? They are all warriors!
