Gearing up for Dialysis~

        Today was an interesting day. I saw my Nephrologist at the dialysis center. I have seen him through the regular doctor appointments, but now he will see me at the dialysis center. We had a bunch of paper work to fill out. One paper, bright neon Red. My doctor asked, "Have you filled out one of these?" I shook my head no. He then asked "Have you ever seen one of these?" I shook my head again no. It was a form about how do I want to live at the end of my life. Do I want a DNR and those type of questions. Talk about being hit! I said I didn't want DNR, given that I'm healthy right now. He said we will change these later. Then the question came up of how long do I want to go on a feeding tube? I just grabbed a time in thin air and said 2 weeks. We can always change. He did write a notation I don't want prolonged life. Meaning if I had a serious stroke, and I have to have around the clock care and there is no prognosis I will get better, I want them to pull the plug.  Some of the questions I have never thought about and did get me thinking. it also asked me about who to put down to contact that will carry out my wishes. My mother is now 86 years old and getting of the age, I think this responsibility should go to someone else, and i will find someone local.

           After the heavy stuff, we filled out some easier forms and went over some blood work. It looks like in two weeks I will start dialysis in home. Next week I go for two more days of training.

             Then the great news! The doctor said it is ok to shower!! I will wash with anti-bacteria soap and when I bandage, I have a certain procedure that we will do. I did it again in the office.

               We are getting closer.

trying to rise above

     Most of today I have felt nauseous. It took me until nearly 4:00pm to eat lunch. I just didn't feel like making anything at lunch time. Food seemed repulsive. I don't feel like eating anything for dinner. I did take some Zofran to help with nausea. It is such a sweet tasting pill.

        This evening I did some nose work practice with my dogs. Afterwards I needed to rest for awhile. Any activity it seems i need to rest afterwards. My anemia is worse, so could be the cause of feeling with little energy.

          I have coming up three nose work trials. I'm getting a little worried that I won't have the energy to get through these trials. I need that fire in the belly to guide me and not let this take over me. As long as I can do nose work, I know I'm still alive and capable. This Sunday I have a mock trial with both Duffy and Divine. Hopefully I will be fine after that event. I'm going to push forward. They want me to start dialysis next week. just days before my first trial. Fortunately the trial is only a 2 hour drive. I will stay in a motel the following night and just volunteer the next morning for a short time. What is great about nose work, I can sit in my chair during the trial between wait times. I can be more mindful to rest. Normally I like to get up and socialize and meet people, but this time I will conserve energy. Two of my students will be in this trial.

            So much happening in my life. I'm going to keep going and keep succeeding. If I can't do Nose Work, it will be really bad for my psyche, so I better go.